And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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