fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
420 ftw
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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