Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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