Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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