I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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