So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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