i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
