I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
