I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
