It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
