What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
