btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
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