he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
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Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
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TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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