You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
