he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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