At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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