i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
