Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
