my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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