oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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