My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
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if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
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