Porn is love you can see.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
