Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
