It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I have fence marks all over my body
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
