hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
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He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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