You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
