Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
