Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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