Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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