I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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