We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
