That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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