you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
