I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
