hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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