i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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