haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
dude i'm inner monologue high
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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