didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
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