eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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