i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
