Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
