their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
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I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
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Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize