I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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