that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
