We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i just had sex bonerless
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
