isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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