I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
