if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
