I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
