you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My penis needs a shock collar
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
