You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
