Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
