He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
