Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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