omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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