Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
