TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Crop dusting thru forever 21
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
