We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize