I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
