IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize